


A Longer Night

by insufficient_fishes



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angel Beelzebub (Good Omens), Angel Beelzebub is Fabian ok, Angst, F/M, Ghosting @ God Level, Heaven & Hell, Orginal Characters, Pre-Fall (Good Omens), Protective Gabriel, She/Her Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), The Fall (Good Omens), a war scene that's a little violent but short and not graphic, no beta all alpha, terrible plant nicknames
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22885726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insufficient_fishes/pseuds/insufficient_fishes
Summary: Gabriel is worried.Lucifer is gaining more followers by the day, Michael won't leave him alone, and his definitely not-significant-other is treading dangerous waters. He doesn't know where to turn and Upstairs is holding out on everyone. Humanity is causing issues, workers are dropping like flies, swords are being sharpened, and the whole of Heaven seems to be rolling towards a catastrophe - but everything will be okay. He's on the winning side after all.Right?
Relationships: Beelzebub & Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Differences

The notes were wrong again. He slammed his hand into the keys, groaning. Every sound clashed against long white walls, echoing off the marble. Gabriel bent over the piano, forced his hands to still. He knew the chording. He did. But again, his fingers tripped and it all sounded wrong, too dark, a chord to low. He didn't recognise the melody. Gabriel slammed down the lid. How was he going to ask her? That was the real problem here.

"Don't stop." Gabriel spun around, half rising from the stool, as a hand squeezed his shoulder. "Really, don't," Fabian said. He sat back down cautiously.

"It wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to sound so... off." The small angel squeezed onto his bench, shoving his legs together so she could fit.

"Well do it again. I liked it." She threw a grin at him. "Very moody."

"I don't have moods."

"' Course not, feeling is for the weak and you are strong." Gabriel didn't like how she said 'strong'. Made him feel decidedly… not. 

"I am what the Almighty made me." He said sharply. "The only feelings I need is a love of all things and praise for our God, the only meaning of our existence."

"Ooh, that's a bit preachy." Fabian's smile dimmed. "She is the cause of our existence, yeah." She worked slowly through every word, as if each one was a scrap of cloth muffling her tongue.

"And she is the point in everything we do." Gabriel walked briskly to the window.

Fabian followed him, gazing out at The Silver City. "It's very beautiful, isn't it?" Her hand traced a light pattern on the glass.

"It's God's creation," Gabriel said simply. Fabian huffed a low laugh.

"Yes."

All was quiet.

"Sorry, hello Fabian. I'm glad you're here." He turned to her stiffly. "Work has been frantic." Not a lie, not really.

"It's fine... Busy days for everyone." He smiled lightly and grasped her waist, pressing her against his chest. They leaned together for a moment; Fabian relaxed into the curve of him. Gabriel could almost forget about-

"What's wrong?" Fabian said, leaning back; her eyebrows drawn together in worry. Gabriel tried to ease himself out of a tension that had cramped in him.

"You were with Lucifer today." She blinked at him.

"Yes."

"Did you-" his jaw worked uselessly, "-are you searching for something?" She stepped away but he pressed on. "Because the Almighty will have answers for you."

"I was just interested." She picked at her robe, listless. "What he is saying isn't all that bad you know. Most of it is just questions." Gabriel stared.

"Fabian, what he speaks against is God. It's Blasphemy."

"Not all of it. Some of it I don't agree with, but some –"

Gabriel grabbed her hands. Holding tight. "Don't say you believe him."

"No! I mean-" she clung to his arms as if she could drag him into her mind "–oh if you just listened to him, you'd get what I'm –"

"Listen to him? Listen to yourself. He is speaking against divine love. He is speaking against what is right." He stepped away from her. His voice was shaking, throat aching. This was dangerous. This was simple.

"Divine love? Is that you working until your own essence is stretched to snap for a world that will never hold you? Or is it that wall you hold around your thoughts, because one question may turn the wrath of God against you? Is it love, that demands your autonomy, that demands your mind?" She was breathing so hard her whole body trembled. Fists clenched at her sides; her stance flared out. Who was she?

"We were not made to think"

"Then what am I doing?"

Gabriel felt the answer ticking on his tongue, if he opened his mouth it would explode over them both. He took a moment. "Just say you will be careful. You matter, you know, you're –" his voice caught, so he closed his eyes, "-I care." Fabian pulled his robe gently and met him halfway.

"I know." She kissed him, featherlight and heavy with hope. Gabriel wrapped a hand in her ravenfeather hair. He didn't want to ever let go.

***

"Good, you're here." Gabriel nodded curtly as Uriel handed off a file.

"Quite. Any news?"

"Michael received The Word." She cast her eyes to the ceiling. "Praise be to God."

"Praise be."

"Our Lord is growing displeased with some of our –" She worked her mouth around the next word for an instant before continuing, " — people. Michael was asked for you to compile a list of those involved."

He pushed to door closed. "She wants me to attend a meeting?"

"No," Uriel shook her head. "Not attend, but if you happen to find yourself nearby… Take notes of who you see, what you hear. I'd recommend you do this unobtrusively," she smirked at him, a lazy arrogance. "we don't want to give anyone reason to be nervous." She leaned in, lowered her voice. "There's this as well. I've heard of a fracturing."

"A fracturing?"

"Involves swords, some great divide, and a great deal of falling. Sounds exciting, huh?" Her face glinted a harsh gold.

"Yes, very." He paused for a second, mind flicking through his options. "I have an index to complete, I don't think…" Uriel stared at him.

"This is The Word of The Lord."

Gabriel paused. What other choice did he have?

He clapped his hands together once. "Amen to that." Uriel inclined her head.

"That's all, I think. God shall be with you."

Yes, thought Gabriel. She always is.

Uriel left satisfied, and Gabriel regarded the paperwork piled on his desk with a curled upper lip.

A few hours in, and an ache had knotted around his temples. The pile had grown no smaller. In frustration, he tapped his quill hard against the desk. His shoulders were tight, and his throat scratched. He was an ethereal being and a few papers had him sore and thirsty? If he read another Architect arguing over the semantics of Instinctual Faith – Gabriel shook his head in disgust. Couldn't humans just believe in God from birth? It'd make his life easier. or his existence at any rate. Cool hands stroked along his neck, and he turned, arms up to defend himself.

"Fabian?" Gabriel stared in surprise. She curled around him.

"I came to see you before my shift started." Gabriel smiled with delight, casting his quill down like it had burned him.

"Bean, you shouldn't distract me." He swivelled his chair to face her, the wood groaning at the movement.

"I shouldn't." She eyed him wickedly, joining him on the chair. The poor thing creaked again unhappily. He leaned into her, burying his nose into her curls. Moss and cool water. His headache began to fade.

"What're you working on today?" He stroked her hair, grooming out the tangles. Fabian hummed with pleasure before shaking her head vigorously.

"Leave off, that tickles. We're replanting the whole western sector of the Garden, Boss's just discovered avocadoes and wants all the oak and birch transplanted to the northern sector. It's all so he can plant loquats, tomatillos and too many avocados. Boss is a bit down right now, cause he sent in a request for a plant that fruits wholegrain toast." She grinned. "He thought it'd be a knockout, only The Lord came to him in a dream telling him that heaven didn't do customer service and he wasn't to request any improvements on existing creations, regardless of perceived ability to function. He's a bit put out that his blueprints for millennials – whatever they are – have been left out of the Divine Plan. Unless he's holding out hope for the Ineffable plan, I reckon I'll be seeing him meeting with Lucifer any day now." She shook her head again, but Gabriel didn't let up. Fabian closed her eyes and let her shoulders droop.

"I thought you liked avocadoes. He teased a particularly stubborn twig out, lips pursed briefly.

"I do, but I don't like the mania they inspire," she couldn't contain the shiver as Gabriel worked, "and they are a pain to grow, we have to graft older branches onto the saplings if we want any kind of yield within ten years." She rolled her eyes. "And trust me, grafting takes a whole lotta time." Fabian made a face. "I'll stop boring you."

"Why would you be boring me?" He tilted his head slyly. "I like it when you talk dirty." She threw back her head and laughed, delighted.

"Careful, don't want you sullying that white robe of yours." Gabriel reared back in shock.

"How dare you–" She sidestepped his arms as he lunged for her.

"Bye now." A coy flick of her wrist and she headed for the door.

"Oh Fabian, wait," he rose out of his chair, running his hands nervously down his sides.

"Yup?" She poked her head around the door frame. Gabriel inclined his head awkwardly and she moved back into his office, curious. 

"I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"The next meeting," should he tell her? "Are you going?" Would it matter? Fabian rocked back on her heels. Uncertain?

"Does Michael want to know?" She rubbed a hand over her hip unconsciously.

"What? No, this is purely me." Not a lie.

"Alright." She paused. "Uh, yeah, I was thinking of it."

"I don't want you going." Her face locked down.

"That is not your decision to make."

"It's dangerous. You shouldn't be there." He hissed at her. Trying to keep the trepidation out of his voice but his frenetic pacing gave the game away. "The Lord has noticed these little meetings and she is not happy!"

"She shouldn't be happy. Her children are growing independent, I imagine that's quite a struggle for her." Gabriel's gaze snapped to her own.

"Don't be so disrespectful."

"I'm not having this conversation now." She walked toward the door. He raised a hand after her, cursing himself, then forced it down.

"Good luck with your avocados" His voice was pitiful. He hated it. He hated it and she was already through the door. Gabriel sank back into his chair. He didn't know what to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idea sponsered by BANNERS: Half Light
> 
> Posting? Every Monday and Wednesday, don't you dare ask for a time, I don't do watches.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to reach the end, but between you and me, I really have no idea if you actually did. So maybe it's just me thanking me, but that's all good, sometimes it's nice to thank yourself, you know?
> 
> Sincerely  
> Insufficient Fishes


	2. Almost Like Praying

"How is it that head offices run us ragged, work us till our feathers grow stiff from disuse, bleed us dry? How is it that they push us so hard for a world we will have no share in? What is it about the Humanity project that drags them so far above us? Why should they bathe in eternal bliss, while we suffer in eternal drudgery?" Lucifer was every bit the shining son of God. He was radiant, so much so that Gabriel instinctively squinted looking at him. He was divine perfection and heaven incarnate. The words slipped from his mouth like sunlight through leaves, and Gabriel felt himself leaning into them. Something within him eager to join the swelling crowd before the golden son of God.  
But the movement shook off the moment and he was left stranded in his little hidden corner, feeling as though someone had shut off the heat inside him.  
He reached deep within, feeling for that silver quality of Her. Faintly – when he found it glimmering deep in his bones, his knees weakened, his shoulders sagged. This angel was dangerous.

There were so many familiar faces here. So many he had walked past in marble hallways, so many who had made him tea in the break rooms, so many eyes glazed with adoration, so many mouths hardened in stubborn fire.  
His list was growing too long – but look – Delphine, Liriael, Sansa and Hestus. He could barely catch Lucifer's words as he fought to record each name.  
This felt to him like a glove with only three fingers.  
He fought down a shiver, Lucifer terrified him with his goldenlight words and righteous fire, and Gabriel had no experience with fear. But then, he had no experience with rebellion either. 

Rebellion. That was what flared with dark wings in the eyes of the listeners. Rebellion was being born in front of him, and it should be tearing his world apart. Yet here it was uniting and joining and every single person in the vast crowd was surging and spilling and – there. Among the movement was this single point of euphoria, an upturned face drinking in the frenzy.  
Fabian.  
Pure instinct dredged him out of his corner, he didn't care who saw him.

"Fabian!" His voice was wretched, and he was sick of it, but still, "Fabian!" She turned, eyes wide and grinning. Then she saw him and – 

"Maybe we should take this somewhere else." He was busy muscling his way through the throng and the suggestion caught him off guard. 

"You need to – ah – yes." Anywhere. She should be anywhere but here. She took his elbow and led him past dark-eyed angels, through a door, down a corridor. She let go and leant against the wall. The joy was gone. Only wariness. 

"What," he started low and dangerous "what are you doing here?" Her chin tilted up sharply.

"I'm listening." He laughed. 

"That was not listening. That was, that was," he fought around his tongue, his head was too hot, "that was revelling. You were loving it?"

"It's exciting." Too simple. She looked so unsure.

"Do you understand what game you are playing? Standing there grinning, while Lucifer takes a knife to faith and tries to bring God down on us all?" The dread in his chest wouldn't lie down, he stared at her. Jaw tick, ticking.

"Do you think I'm a fool. I know what he says, I know what he suggests and I'm beginning to agree with it. How can you praise a God that works in despair and drudgery? She demands your outstretched neck and bended knee. Fealty and fearmongering. She deserves none of our faith." 

Rage like he had never known splintered him, wrapped the shards of his voice, his love, and directed them straight at her. He couldn't contain himself. He needed her safe. He strode forward, righteous might, grabbed her shoulders, slammed her back against the wall. A hand in her hair as he forced her eyes up.

"Look at me." A hiss jolted from lips. "You owe everything to her. Everything you are is due to her, and I thank her for it every day. How can you be so graceless, so thankless? She has given you a world to learn in, a family who cares. A place in the choir. She demands not your fear, but your trust. The fear is our simple inability to comprehend all that she is. Lucifer twists this fact into something bitter. He can't bear the unknowable, so he demonizes it, dresses it up in a cloak of evil. He is power-hungry and jealous. He is questioning that which is meant to be left alone." He was screaming the words at her. He needed her to understand. She was shrunk against the wall and shrinking still. Gabriel could feel her trembling against him. She had never backed away from him before, never – 

"He is thinking." Knife glint fury cut up his thoughts, "He is using the mind our own mother gave him and he is questioning. There is always some creator, but I owe her nothing for that. She created me and I am grateful, but I don't owe her my life. A life that should be freely given. No mother can demand loyalty for creation. No parent should demand our love. I feel this deep in the bones that She moulded."

Of all the – the world narrowed to her feverbright eyes and he felt the smoulder of the holy spirit devour him. So, he stepped back, raised a single shining palm, and swung, and she screamed. Oh, she screamed. At him. At the world. At what he was turning into, and in the shard second between momentum and impact her caught himself. Swaying on the fine line between his God and his… What was she to him that had him so warped out of shape? The feelings she inspired in his palms and knees and eyelines were not angelic benevolence.  
She was screaming.  
He had nearly hurt her, and he stumbled backwards.  
Then down on his knees, a fallen Atlas while she swayed.  
Relief and anger in her eyes as he gazed up at her hopeless.  
She slipped out the door and he crumpled to the hard-white marble.  
The holy spirit fizzled and vanished.  
The Angel Gabriel was alone. 

***  
The crowds before Lucifer were growing bigger, louder. From his distant observations, Gabriel had spotted Fabian only twice, once, standing defiantly beside Lucifer, as the shining Godson railed his golden fury. Once, in strident conversation with four supporters, eyes vibrant and hands quivering.  
Both times he slunk away, bottomed out on a sandbank of shame.  
Her name was miraculously absent from every list he compiled. 

Gabriel had scarcely moved from his office in a week when the Metatron snapped into light before him. The cool blue glow hollowed Gabriel's face even further. Eyes like dried tidal pools, bare, thirsty. He leapt up, stumbling on the desk corner. 

"The Almighty has sent me to you with this message." Michael was suddenly standing by his side, giving him a tense look. The Metatron glared at the two, heavenly might and crushing expectation. Gabriel shifted uncomfortably. Michael was still and steely. "She is disappointed in the actions of Lucifer and his followers. A warning shall be sent out to all in her heavenly choir stating that any angel that seeks disgrace of themselves or others shall be cut off from the body of the host and held in a new dark as a thing accursed." The Metatron focused deep fathomless eyes on Michael. "She also remonstrates you, Michael," Michael's head reared back, rattlesnake rage. "You've not handled this affair with any urgency, she expects you to treat Lucifer and his followers as a danger to all that is holy and act accordingly. There must be consequences merited to him and his followers for their disillusionment and subsequent disrespect. Make certain, your actions must reflect this intention going forward. Gabriel, she wishes you to assume more control of this… situation," The Metatron paused, voice dripping in righteous disdain and cast a splintered glance at both angels. "She will make an example out of you both, should you displease her again." The Metatron vanished.

Gabriel stared at the empty space in a daze. Michael was flushed with shame. "We will do better," Michael stated flatly. "And we will do it quicker. If it is punishment she desires," a wicked flame flared in her eyes, "then I am more than willing." Gabriel couldn't summon the energy to lift his head. Michael smiled, a shark fin breaking still waters. "We have the list, to begin with. We will send on The Metatron's message today. We wait a few days, and then we tail Lucifer, take note of who remains, so I can work on from there." She hesitated, raking over Gabriel in one suspicious glance. "I assume you have no issue with this. You must be just as eager as I am to silence them." Gabriel didn't move, didn't acknowledge her. Michael's eyes narrowed. "Your loyalties lie with God of course." A bright brittle smile. "How is Fabian anyhow? Haven't seen much of her lately." She leaned forward, pure focus. Gabriel didn't look at her. 

"God will always be my purpose." Why did she want to know about her? "Fabian is working hard. The humans are nearly set, so she has much to do." Michael watched him. Wondering? Then she shrugged her shoulders.

"Glad to hear it. You know what to do, send the message, sort out Lucifer. We can't screw this up." She left the room. Gabriel reclaimed his chair with shaking knees and set about drafting God's announcement.

***  
Some dark feeling was scuttling on stiltclick legs in The Silver City. The host had received the pronouncement three days ago and angels were still avoiding the corridors toward the head offices. Gabriel couldn't help but notice the downcast eyes and nervewrecked stutters when he attempted to converse with any angel outside his own office. Around Michael, however, they were worse. She had taken to her new role of Arbitrator with vicious pleasure, stalking down dissenters down and – as she liked to say – scaring the questions out of them.  
He wanted no part of it, and if the score of angels flocking to Lucifer was tempered by the efforts of Michael and her team, he wouldn't know. They had disappeared from all decks, protestations silenced. Which likely meant they were simply protesting quietly.  
He needed to find them before God grew irritated at his slow progress.  
Gabriel slumped over the desk, head in his arms.  
He was so tired. 

Fabian appeared before him as he closed his eyes.  
Whisperlines and so fearful, wide eyes as his hand came up – and now she wasn't safe. His actions had only hurt her, hurt him. He couldn't protect her now, he couldn't do anything, and he could feel her, feel the thunder of her heart and the rush of her breath. The scent of her and the taste of her fear, an electric jolt to the system. An indrawn breath – Gabriel shot to his feet. Fabian. She was terrified.

"Where are you?" He screamed into the void before him. "Tell me!" A sobbed breath, a gleam of recognition at the edge of his mind. Michael's name drawn in cobwebs, and oh no-no-no. No. He knew where Michael was. He was out the door and tearing up stairs, through corridors. A desperate prayer thrust upwards like a hand above roiling waves. (Show me the way) She would listen to him. She would. The corridors grew sparser. Ascending a last stairwell, crossing the hall and Michael's voice echoed toward him through a darkened doorway. Fabian's fear still banded his chest, but he made himself slow.

"Don't play dumb with me. I've seen you with him. You tell me how he contacts you or I'll set Sandalphon on you." Gabriel forced himself to unclench his fists. He drew closer.

"I've told you before. I've nothing to do with Lucifer, I can't tell you anything about this." Fabian's voice was clenched and gasping as if struggling for breath. The sound of an open palm on flesh. A gasp of pain.

"That's horseshit and you know it." 

Gabriel was already moving. Madrush ruin in his bloodstream and with vengeful strides he was through the door. Michael had Fabian by the throat in the corner of the pristine room, and both looked over in shock as he stormed the doorway.

"Put her down." He barked the words between gritted teeth, struggling to keep his cool at the sight of her. Michael let her go. Gabriel noticed a long sword sheathed on Michael's hip. Fabian tried to cross over to Gabriel, but a hand in her hair pulled her to a violent standstill. 

"Give her here." His voice like iron rods and dark places. Where did all this rage come from?

"Why should I?" An arched eyebrow. A hand on the sword at her side.

"You should – you can't treat God's own creations with such disrespect. She'll be displeased." A tight-lipped smile at Fabian. Michael grinned.

"I'm doing God's work, remember? And this one –" she tugged on Fabian's hair brutally, "this one's as much of a traitor as the rest of them." Everything in Gabriel wrestled for calm. 

"How can this be if she's been working for me?" 

"Give it up, Gabriel, what does this little shit have over you? She's nothing but a gardener." Michael tossed the smaller angel to the floor and walked right up to him, white-knuckled grip on the pommel. It was a good question. "You better watch yourself, sticking your neck out for a traitor. You should leave now and pray I don't report you." 

"Didn't you just get a reprimand from God herself earlier? You're on thin ice Michael, and you know it. What do you think her reaction will be if word gets to her that you have been abusing your privileges and torturing your own workers? Fabian's been working under my command, and any issues you have with her, you will have to send through the proper channels." 

"You two-faced –" Michael shook in fury. Gabriel cut her off.

"I'll take her, and we won't hear any more of this." Michael was spitting.

"Get out of here." She aimed a kick at Fabian, who was picking herself up off the floor. Gabriel dared not move. The small angel dodged the attack and headed straight for him, tense and unsure. Gabriel held out an arm nervously, waiting. She slipped under it.  
Relief softened within him, and he tucked her into his side as they strode out the door, steadying her. 

Nothing was spoken until they entered his flat in The Silver City. Opening – hand on the door and in he hurried. Fabian did not follow. She stood on the threshold, just watching. It took a moment for Gabriel to realise, and he turned, stranded in the wide white room. 

"Hey," gentle, he could be gentle. She didn't move. He braved a step – fear. A sudden beat of it in the back of his mind. He stilled instantly. "It's alright," Hands raised, softly, softly.

"I just –" she looked torn, as though this decision was prying apart her ribs. Deep breath, unnecessary breath, and a step. She was in and on the move. A stuttered stride to the window. Crumpling – like tissue paper on the floor. Gabriel wanted so badly to walk over to her, to make it all better, but he didn't dare. 

"I'm sorry." Fabian glared up at him, all huge eyes and misery. A bruise was already showing on one cheek, there were angry red finger marks on her neck. He wanted to ruin Michael. (He wanted to ruin himself.)

"You tried to hurt me." 

"No!" It wasn't like that. It wasn't. He just wanted her safe, he just wanted – "I never wished you hurt." 

"You raised a hand to hit me," the words choked out of her, working around uneven breath and heartache. He forgot everything else and strode towards her.

"But I –" urgency made him bold and he dropped to his knees before her. "I was taken up by something I can't understand, but the second I raised my hand, it all vanished, and everything was so wrong." She was pressed against the glass away from him, and he was sorry for it. She swallowed, his eye drawn again to the finger marks, those awful scratches, and he raised a hand unwittingly, grazing her throat. Whip-quick, she struck his hand away and pushed past him.  
"I'm going to go. I don't feel safe here." She looked at him for a moment. He sat motionless, breathless. "Thanks for your help." She was through the door and gone and Gabriel was hung out to dry on her tailwind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank Jon Bellion - Woke The F*ck Up for this chapter
> 
> Feel free to shout at me from the comments, if you want to communicate. Fish can't hear you see, so you will really have to shout.
> 
> Sincerely  
> Insufficient Fishes


	3. Questions

The way to Fabian was through Lucifer, Gabriel was certain. Lucifer was slipping through back corridors, not exactly furtively, but there was a definitive dimness to his usual blinding halo of golden light - the angel wished to move unnoticed.  
This was unusual, wherever Lucifer went, he commanded attention. The very radiance of him demanded it. Every angel knew he was the reason heaven was so tense, but he wasn't reviled. Every angel knew he was railing against God, yet the host treated the bastard with reverence and worshipful attention, they sought comfort from him. The comparison felt bitter on Gabriel's tongue.  
Gabriel followed him through side doors and old stairwells.  
What made all these people revere Lucifer, yet scatter from Gabriel in fright?  
They were heading in a downward direction, that much he could tell, and Lucifer was speeding up.  
Why was Gabriel biting his tongue and praying for the protection of those he – while – while Lucifer literally walked in light? The halls grew darker, and Gabriel could have sworn he saw a leak in the corner of a wall as he sped past, trying to keep Lucifer in sight. He had the gall to walk with wings out, preach filth about the actions of the Creator, and for this, he was admired? Lucifer disappeared through a door and Gabriel broke into a run. The hall was empty.  
He stopped, listening. Gabriel followed the rules.  
Cold silence. Gabriel held to his faith.  
He took an unsure step.  
And yet he was tested? The click of his shoes was swallowed by concrete.  
Nothing. The hall was long and lonely.  
He dug his fingers into his palms, a low groan bubbling up from his chest.  
Nothing made sense anymore.  
He had been so close. 

"Hello, angel." A voice slipped over him, silky and sinuous. Gabriel didn't turn, Gabriel didn't move. 

"Lucifer." A soft quiet. 

"My Lord is so much better, don't you think?" Luminous eyes fixed on him, a smile with teeth. A long-nailed hand on his shoulder.

"My Lord… I…" He began to shake his head, "no, that's not-" 

"It's alright, archangel. Take a moment. Settle down." There was something not right here. He stepped away in a rush. Turning.

"No-I have something to find – something to say-" Lucifer seemed to snap into being before him as if the darkness had never existed, just a soul-stripping gold that tore the thoughts from his head. "Turn that down!" He tried to yell, but the words were lost. 

"Gabriel" the name was purred in delight, and the gold vanished as quickly as the darkness before, just a gentle light remained. "You're looking for answers?" The Godson leaned in. 

"No" Gabriel was measuring his breath. One, two, three, four… What had he been thinking?

"Looking for questions then, Gabriel?" Lucifer looked positively joyful. "Questions are so much more interesting." Interesting, was that good? Gabriel wanted to be good.

"Question for you. Yes?" Why was thinking so hard?

"Stay with me, angel." Lucifer smiled wide, white canines, white eyes. Gabriel lurched back, a pulse of fear winding him out of… out of something.

"Fabian. Is this what you've done to her?" He pushed menace into his voice, fire into his eyes. Slowly, his faculties were his own again.

"Done what, angel?" So mild, so meek.

"You know what, you- you- this mind trick you just tried to pull on me." Yes, this rage was helpful.

"Mind tricks?" The Godson looked downright offended. "I'm not tricking anyone into anything." 

"This explains it all. No one listens to you, you just pull them in. She doesn't actually want any of this, it's you – working in her head, making her feel things. You're ruining people!" Lucifer stepped in close, almost growling. The pure power around him made Gabriel's head spin. 

"You desperate little thing. You really believe I'm forcing anyone to do anything here? You believe I'm warping minds, putting questions in their heads?" Lucifer nodded, seemingly in control of himself again. He grew soft. "It would be so much nicer for you if that was true." He pierced Gabriel with a Look. "Ask me the real questions." Gabriel couldn't meet his stare. 

"What are you doing here?" Lucifer regarded him with something like disappointment, long and sombre.

"Try again." Gabriel was sick of this. Unanswered questions were piling up on him, thoughts were drowning him.

"Why am I being punished for your actions?" 

"Why are you asking me?" Gabriel would prefer a punch to the gut.

"Because she isn't fucking answering. She won't answer me, and I need her, and I hear nothing, and it hurts. I need to know why she won't answer," it was aching to spill out of him, "I need to know so I can fix it." 

"Why should you have to fix anything?" Gabriel liked how the floor tiles couldn't stare back.

"Because without her I am nothing." 

There was silence. The words were a split between them.

"This is why you'll follow me. I can offer something God won't. I'll give you a relationship. Stability. No matter what, with me, you'll always know where you stand. You'll either be good enough, or you won't and then you will face the consequences and work to be better." Gabriel could see the pull of this. These silk words reeling him in. It was seductive, the thought of following something so substantial, something he could rail at, something that could feel the weight of his words and actions. It would be wonderful. It would be easy. 

He would have to betray God to do it. 

Lucifer was watching every flicker of thought play on Gabriel's face. "I'll take you to Fabian. Perhaps, afterwards, you will stay." 

"Why?"

"Enough questions. Choose wisely. Whatever you see, you better not squeak to Michael." His power choked out any light in the hall, this was no golden boy. "If you do, I will give you something to pray about."

"Don't threaten me." Gabriel's jaw ground as he thought. "If I come with you, it doesn't mean I'm on your side." 

"No?" Lucifer turned, clicking his fingers. Gabriel gaped as the Godson took a step and fell through the hole in the floor. The hole that had not been there before.

"I can't follow you down there!" 

"Take the stairs," came the echoed response.

He took the steps, flicking on his halo to guide him. He disappeared into the dark.

***

And then there was light. Gabriel couldn't say if it was Good. He followed it into a wide room, where the amber glow was coming from a dancing flame in wall brackets. The flicker of light danced over empty floors; but there was another room, small, padded and shining with a familiar face. 

Gabriel could only stare. Fabian was in the midst of something violent. Fist to fist with a huge angel, spitting, lashing, yelling. They had her arm. Her shoulder. Hip twist and Fabian was falling. Fabian was losing. She was laid out on the ground and gasping. Gabriel ran. Tore through the doorway, someone shouted in surprise, he was seized by the arms, dragged to his knees, and Fabian had a wicked dagger pointed at his throat. 

"What!" Gabriel was frozen and yelling and very unsure of the situation. "What's going on?" 

"Gabriel?" Fabian's eyes were blown wide. 

"You're fighting-no, when did you start to-no, where have you been?" His tongue was tripping over itself, his thoughts spilling out everywhere. His knees were sore.

"Gabriel? What?" Fabian barely seemed aware of the knife she was nearly sticking into his throat. 

"Get that thing away from me," he pushed against the angel behind him with vicious energy, but she was strong and big and in a more defensible position. Fabian dropped the knife, rushing to him. His arm was wrenched behind his back. He growled in pain.

"Stop Serie, you're hurting him!" Fabian was yelling at the angel, and Gabriel was very glad the knife was out of the picture.

"It's Gabriel, course I am," Serie said, a tad smugly.

"Get off him." Fabian scowled the angel down.

"He's here to cause trouble." Serie wasn't backing down, and Gabriel's arm was very sore. 

"Lucifer let me in, so get off." He tried to sound commanding, but that was difficult on his knees.

"See, it's ok." Fabian pried the angel off him.

"I dunno, he came at us pretty grumpy…" Series trailed off doubtfully but let him go.

"That's because I saw Fabian getting thrown to the floor!" Gabriel rose slowly to his feet, ready to dodge if she came at him again.

"Just go, I can deal with him." Fabian picked up the knife. "And I have this if he does anything stupid." The knife glittered. Serie looked between the two of them. 

"It's on your head if anything gets back to Lucifer." She turned and left, throwing a last suspicious glare over her shoulder. Gabriel sneered back. 

"Stop that, or I'll stick you." Fabian shook the knife, irritated. Gabriel put his hands up quickly. 

"Sorry." 

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to find you." She shook her head.

"You can't get in here by just wandering around." 

"I told you, Lucifer let me in." 

"You spoke with Lucifer?" Fabian seemed almost unbelieving. "Despite all that crap you gave me after I attended a few meetings?" Gabriel leaned back from the weapon she was waving around. 

"I was looking for you, he was my only option." She advanced, something sinister in her gait. The light was leaching out of the room.

"You're unbelievable. Why would I want you to find me?" Unease had him backing away, trying to keep a safe distance between them. "Why would I want you near me?" Her eyes were cold, her voice was iron. Gabriel felt her words band his chest.

"I don't-" She kept walking, "I just-" Faster now, and he was running out of room. "Fabian-"

"What gives you the right," she had him pressed against the wall, blade against his chest, "to ask me for anything?" A spot of pain pricked him. He dared not move. "What gives you the right," she wouldn't hurt him, "to walk in here, expecting everything to be ok, when you have just met with the one person you begged me never to listen to?" river stone eyes, but she was different. The knife began to dig into his robe, into his ribs. "What gives you the right to command me?" He couldn't contain the little gasp of pain, though he kept his palms flat against the wall, his chin raised to the ceiling. 

"The knife, Fabian!" He choked out the words, knowing that any more pressure could see that blade sliding in deep. Could he die by her? He could feel hurt, of that he was certain. Fabian let go of the knife instantly. It clattered to the floor. Realisation broke through the anger like sun through torn blinds, and she pressed an urgent hand to his chest.

"Oh no, no, okay, are you hurt, are you-?" Gabriel sagged to the floor, relief clouding his head, dizzying him. 

"I'm fine," there was a smear of blood on her hands, but the wound wasn't deep, "where did you get that thing anyway?" If the cut wasn't already healing, then that blade was divinely forged. She knelt down before him, looking down at his chest.

"Lucifer, he's giving them to a few of us." She said, eyes fixed on her hands.

"Why would he do that?" His eyebrows knotted in confusion. Fabian hesitated.

"It – it doesn't matter." 

"So, you're all in this then? He's training you up for a fight or something-" she tensed, looking away. Stone drop realization. "-No, he isn't – he's teaching you how to fight?" 

"Just a little bit, most here already know a thing or two." Gabriel didn't want to consider the implications of that. "He says we need to be prepared for when the angels come for us." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Lucifer's lot is the enemy here, not us." Her lot now, perhaps. 

"Did you not have to stop an angel from trying to beat information out of me? It seems I have more to fear from you then Lucifer." She stared right at him. "Why do you think I asked for his help?" Dagger words, and now she was twisting them right into his neck. Hard to speak. He hid his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." But she had a point. She was in this now, Michael would be out for her, Lucifer would be watching her. The thought sent spiderwalk chills right through. "I tried to hurt you. I raised my hand and I pushed you." He was afraid of cold eyes so he stared at the floor. "I was so scared of the thought of you falling, it felt the like the only way to make you listen. I wanted to force you into agreeing with me. It was a terrible thing to do." His gaze wavered over the floor, he squeezed his eyes shut. "It felt like betrayal, and I hurt you. You trusted me and I broke it. I am so sorry, Fabian." Soft hands cupped his chin. Moss and cool water. 

"I know. I know." She said quietly, a small smile edging her lips. He reached for her. Searched for any sign of fear. "And I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have threatened you. I was angry, still am a bit, and that must have been scary. I didn't mean any harm." 

"It's okay. I'm fine." She leant into him, a solid weight over his thighs. This was good. Hand on her back, hand on her neck and she was disappearing into him. "I don't want to lose this…" A broken prayer, but he had to try. "I don't want to lose you." Something like salt spilt down his cheek and he was overflowing. Fear of this icy gap that Fabian sometimes was now.

"You won't. I'm here." Gabriel laughed; no, he didn't laugh. He choked.

"You side with Lucifer." He buried his nose in her hair, his world narrowing to moss, cool water and the ache of tears he shouldn't feel. "You side against God. You side against divine love." She didn't move away this time, and it was just the two of them in a small room with the light out, too many stories from heaven. 

"You know my reasons." She was gasping too, like a landed fish, and suddenly the chasm between them wasn't important. She was clear before him.

"Yes. And I don't agree with them, but it doesn't matter." He was holding on so tight – fingers on the edge of a cliff. "There will always be a place for you with me. Whatever happens." and he meant it, meant it like a morning prayer. 

She smiled wetly at him. "Thank you."

"It'll never be too late. You're always forgiven." She gave him a lionheart, the grace of God unfurling in his chest – enough love to choke on. Her heartbeat carried him off. "Whatever..." a breath "…whatever happens, she will be there for you." He shut his eyes, revelling in the idea. These words weren't really for her, "she will never give you up." 

Silence was a growing thing between them, a broad green leaf unfurling.

"I don't care about her," she ran a finger over his cheekbone gently, "but I care about you. If I could, I'd blur all the lines for us." She shook out a smile. "That you stay by my side despite everything…" she buried her nose into the crook of his neck, "…I want to choose you."

This wasn't right. This wasn't a deep encasing love for all things. He felt a love to burn, a love to tend and test. No person should be worshipped above God, but when the light was out, and Fabian was curled against him… Well. Gabriel couldn't find it in him to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armours - Genseis (Acoustic) boosted me through this one.
> 
> Give me a thought, a fact of the day, or a really bad joke.
> 
> Sincerely  
> Insufficient Fishes


	4. Restless Creation

Eventually, there was a flash of command in Gabriel's mind and he Knew. He bent his head and whispered against Fabian's ear, "I need to go." She groaned, and slowly extricated herself from him.

"What for?"

"Michael's calling me, and I have a project that is due to finish today." Fabian's eyes widened.

"You've finished the humanity project." She whispered, looking worried. Gabriel nodded, standing, stretching the kinks out of his spine. He tucked any emotion in a far-off corner.

"Yes."

"You can't delay it?" Gabriel paused.

"Why?"

"Because that means things are going to start getting problematic." Fabian gestured, and the room opened up again to reveal stony stairs.

"No." Humanity would be finished, regardless of Lucifer. Nothing would sway him. Fabian sighed.

"Go then. Be careful."

"I'm an Archangel, I don't need to be" That was a touch too confident considering he had just been trounced by Fabian's huge angel friend, but Gabriel decided that the occasion had simply been a fluke.

"Get lost, right now." She said, a small grin blurring her cranky tone. Gabriel hurried up the steps, burst into the dim light of heaven's lower halls and vanished.

***

"Where have you been?" Uriel snapped. He blinked, reorienting himself. The

"Looking for Lucifer, as instructed."

"We have Divine Creation slotted in about two hours. Before then, you have to send those plans on to the Metatron and get down to the Garden. Here, take these." Uriel handed Gabriel a few slim folders.

"Thanking you, where's the rest?"

"It's all there." She said gesturing at them. Gabriel frowned, leafing through them.

"No, it's missing the print we had made for invulnerability, and the extensions for expected lifespans," His frown grew deeper as he searched, "and the whole section concerning Instinctual Faith is completely absent." He glanced up; Uriel pursed her lips.

"Michael threw out all that, it would slow production, and she wants them rolled out now."

"But without that, how will they know to follow God?" He kept a tight hold of his voice, but his brows were drawn in confusion.

"It's simple." Uriel smiled smugly, "God will be all they know."

"You can't get them into heaven then. They have to have another option." Uriel's smile widened in triumph.

"But there'll be a tree."

"A tree," Gabriel said flatly.

"Yep. God'll say to them, don't eat this tree's fruit, if you want to stay with me and be happy and free." Gabriel grimaced.

"With the rhyme?"

Uriel pulled a face. "It'll all rhyme."

"That's well and good," Gabriel looked at Uriel intently, "but what if they choose the tree?" Uriel stopped.

"They won't." She eyed him. "Why would they want too?"

"Wouldn't survival be difficult for them; you've removed invulnerability and miracle birth. They might decide that whatever happens when they eat the fruit might be better than their current situation."

"As long as they're in the Garden, no harm will come to them."

"What if they leave?"

"There's a wall."

"There's a wall?"

"And a guard."

Gabriel threw up his hands, "looks like you have it all figured out." The whole wall situation didn't really sit right, but he ignored the feeling.

"It's quite brilliant if I say so myself," Uriel seemed proud, "Michael wants those plans to get to the Metatron, now."

"I'm going, meet you in the Garden in an hour?"

Uriel nodded, "that's The Plan."

***

The Garden was a cliché.

There wasn't another way to put it, for it was lush and free and rolling.

It was huge, wild and peaceful, full of life, empty of presence.

It was contained in a giant wall.

And now there were humans.

The Creation had been quick, the architects sent down a Word and told them to wait a few minutes then vanished. Then he had been alone with Uriel and Michael, shifting uncomfortably in the perfect temperature – so finely balanced it felt to him as if there was no temperature at all – and then they were most definitely not alone.

He watched the two beings figure out their feet.

One was holding onto a lion for balance.

"They're a bit underwhelming, to be honest" Uriel whispered, in Gabriel's ear. The male human was examining his arms, looking vaguely surprised.

"They're not supposed to be huge," Gabriel said.

Ah, his name was Adam.

"Yeah but… I had hoped they'd come with a tail… Or a few hooves… Or even a trunk?" Uriel sounded a little put-out.

Adam was discovering something far more interesting than his hands and he grunted a bit. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "I think our Lord was quite generous in the trunk department."

The two angels looked on, fascinated. Eve, as Gabriel now knew her, wandered over in curiosity, Uriel pulled a face.

"They figured that out pretty quickly," she said. Gabriel looked away.

"Dirty things, these humans," Michael said, a touch of disgust curling her lip.

"Nothing made by God is impure." Gabriel still wasn't looking, however.

"Time to break this up, I think" Uriel turned to Michael as she spoke.

"Gabriel, I believe God wants you to do the introductions. Lay down the rules and so forth." Michael said.

"I don't -" Gabriel stepped back a bit.

"Nope, that's a great idea. See you around." Uriel nodded hastily, and the two of them vanished.

Gabriel sputtered helplessly.

***

"Where on Earth are all our workers?" Michael said, her voice sharpened to cut as she glared at the angel before her. Gabriel was pacing in his office, tearing through files.

"I-I-Here." The angel offered a wavering piece of parchment. Michael snatched it from him but didn't bother to read it.

"Explain. Now."

"I-Yes, um, that there is a list," Michael watched him with the flat gaze of a bored tiger, he squeaked, "a-a-a list of demands…"

"Demands." Her voice was cool. Gabriel stopped moving, watching Michael carefully.

"Yes, yup, yeah, uh of Lucifer and his followers." Michael began to scan the paper. Her lips pursed. The angel before her shook harder, his gaze darting desperately to Gabriel, who jerked his head. The angel scampered off down the hall.

"Gabriel, read this." He walked over to Michael, taking the paper carefully. There wasn't a lot written on it, just four lines but he felt a weight sinking inside him.

_We will not stand for the elevation of humanity._

_We demand the earth be attributed in part to the angels working under the corporation of Heaven. We demand the right to preside over any decisions regarding the mortal kind._

_We demand agency._

Gabriel looked up, "I can't see any of this happening, frankly." Michael looked as though she was sucking a lemon.

"We're going to be ended." She was pacing, hands winding in her robe.

"It might not come to that." Neither of them bothered to voice the truth. "What can we do?"

Michael stopped moving. "We can talk to the Metatron."

"The Almighty doesn't bargain."

"I know that," Michael bit out, "but we can't not attempt to talk to Her." 

"If we control the situation now, we might be let off with only a warning."

Michael gritted out a low laugh, cutting off abruptly as the angel that Michael had been terrorising earlier burst through the door.

"What,” Michael said. The angel looked as if he was about to leap out of his skin.

"You should come-" he gasped out, "-main deck, all the-" breath, "-halls to the main offices are being picketed." Gabriel started running.

"This is getting out of control!" Michael howled.

The two of them vanished.

Angels were everywhere. Dark-eyed and angry. A giant roiling wave of them cresting, cresting, about to crash.

"What is this?" Michael muttered. Lucifer shone above everything.

"Listen." Gabriel pushed into the crowd, angels leaping out of the way.

"All you have ever dreamed is now yours to take.” Lucifer spoke with grand lusty fervour. “I have your power, your strength. Follow me, and I will shape this world, give it back to us all." Lucifer’s voice rose and rose, "I will exalt my throne above the stars of God and remove myself from her view, She will no longer control me or mine. She will no longer command us." The crowd roared like a great beast. "I will sit upon the mount of the congregation in the sides of the north, my future is my own and I will guide those of you willing to follow. To you I can be the north star. You will never be lost!" All around, hands were raised, and mouths were chanting, wrapped up in the spectacle and the formation of something new."I will ascend above the heights of the clouds," Lucifer threw back a golden-crowned head, brilliant and mighty power. Two great wings thrust from his shoulders igniting the crowds like a match to oil. Gabriel recoiled.

"I will open my wings, I will be free to fly," he made the whole world flare, his rare and roiling might cutting across very thought, "no one will limit me." He was blazing. His supporters were lost in him. "I will be like the most high!" The light of heaven went out.

Everything was still.

Blue light split the world and the Metatron appeared, overpowering and terrible.

"Silence. Foul words make dirty the tongues that speak them. All in doubt are henceforth warned. Heaven is darkened and the doors to The Silver City are barred from you. Our Lord is gracious, and she gives you one opportunity, repent, and you shall be welcomed again into the arms of the host." Huge eyes fixed on each and every soul and found them wanting. "Disregard my words, and you will be cast from the light immutably." The Metatron snapped out, and all was dark.

"Shit," Michael said, releasing a long and tired breath. Some dark realization was coalescing in Gabriel's mind. Fear crashed over the crowd around as a thousand halos were switched on, and Michael grabbed Gabriel's arm. "This will make it easier to scratch out any traitors if they're all locked out of The Silver City." Gabriel knew her face was etched in a brittle grin.

"I need to go." He pushed her hand off him and strode down away. Michael's frustrated cry was swallowed in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If so inclined, check out Tom Walker - Leave A Light On (Acoustic) That song pretty much inspired this whole fic.
> 
> Thanks for the time, hope you enjoyed this, it was a bit more jumpy with settings this time. Feel free to scream your thinking at me, the sea is a large place, the extra volume is much welcomed. Next update Monday at an unholy time no doubt. 
> 
> Sincerely 
> 
> Insufficient Fishes


	5. Deaf Ears

Heaven had never been dark before. Gloomy certainly, down in belowdecks, but never lightless. He couldn't pretend the knowledge that perhaps his God was grinding to great or terrible action didn't stir something in him. He had almost been beginning to think She'd never- he shoved that thought back where it came from.   
Gabriel clicked his fingers.  
Something sinister whispered in his mind.  
He switched on his halo. A cool silver light reflected off steel doors. He waved them open.  
A small control panel glinted, one press and he would know.   
'All in doubt,' the Metatron had said. The words collared him. Even if it didn't work, he had a key. Really, he didn't need to press. He stepped into the elevator; if he pressed it, he would know exactly what She thought of him. He would know if he was lost.   
He didn't want to be lost.   
The doors began to slide shut.  
They opened again, abruptly. Fabian tore through the doors, her frantic worry squeezing out the air as she entered. 

She blinked. "Gabriel." 

"Fabian." He blinked back. She glanced between him and the control panel. Her gaze softened and it almost broke Gabriel into little pieces.

"Are you worried?" 

"No." He was snapping at her, he shouldn't. "Why would I be?" She looked at him a bit longer. 

"Do you think She really meant it?" 

"She doesn't play mind games." He said, giving her a Look in rebuke. Fabian rubbed her arms nervously.

"I guess we'll see what happens." Gabriel tried to keep his breathing steady as she stepped to the control panel.

"Do you want me to leave?" 

She smiled, trying to be brave. "No, it's gonna be fine." 

She pressed the button to the silver city. Nothing happened. She stepped back, then stepped again, again, sank against the wall. Down – until she was on the floor and gazing at nothing. "So that's that then." She looked so small, shredded against a dark realization. "So much for faith." Gabriel sat next to her, quietly. This didn't feel right. He searched within him for silver. It glimmered still, gently, softly radiant. But Fabian was locked out of The Silver City.

"She still loves you." This could only be true – this was Fabian – curious and casual and with so much life… Fabian laughed bitterly.

"So, she locks me out of my home, and casts me to the dark." She wasn't laughing any more. "This wasn't – wasn't what I wanted." She wrapped her arms around her knees and shrunk. "I didn't think I'd be abandoned." Gabriel wanted to pull her in.

"She hasn't abandoned you." 

"Then where is She?" She jerked up to face him, desperate. "Why does She shut out the light?" Red eyes and torture and spasmed breath. "Why do I feel so alone?" This was hitting too close for comfort; Gabriel couldn't bear the sting of his own fears being thrust upon him.

"Maybe She's giving you space. It's not like you've been particularly happy with Her lately."

"I just asked questions," Fabian growled. "So, what if I didn't agree with everything." Her head shook. "I deserve this. I know I do." She squeezed her eyes shut. "But I didn't expect it to… to hurt so much."

Gabriel couldn't help himself any longer. Kneeling down, he stroked her hair and pulled her into him. She shuddered; breath hot on his neck. "I can feel her right in my chest," he whispered, "and I don't know what she's saying but it feels like love." She shifted, burying her head further into the join of his neck and shoulder. "I don't believe it's too late, maybe all you need to do is open yourself up to her." 

"She demands apologies. I can't apologise for this." Her voice was stretched like it was hauling her up a mountainside, fraying and about to break. "I don't want too." 

Gabriel asked for a miracle and reached into a pouch under his robe. There was something in there that hadn't been there before. "Here." He pressed something into her palm, she took it. Examined it.

"A key…" It was long and heavy. "How?" 

"I'm an Archangel. It affords us certain privileges." She drew away from him.

"I know what this is. You've given up a key to The Silver City." She stared at him, big eyes and worry. "I can't take this." 

"You'll take this. I asked for a Miracle, and I got one. If She didn't want you to have it, then it wouldn't have worked." He hoped. There was only one way to find out really. She clutched it in her hands. 

"You are risking everything you love for this." He swallowed two words back, they stuck like toothpicks… Not everything.

"I am certain She will stand with me on this. I've told you this before, I'm holding out for you." He stroked her hair. "I know the lights are off right now. You're struggling and fighting something you don't know you can believe in. But God and I, we'll always be there for you." He pulled back; let the feelings he couldn't express weight his words. "You have a key to the stairs, and I will leave a light on for you at home. No matter what you chose, there will be light for you with me. If you come, we can find another option, we can choose something else." He hugged her. Molding into his memory how she lifted her chin and stretched her arms, how she fit and felt. "I have faith in God, you will be okay. You don't have to join Lucifer." Blind faith was all he had now. Fabian stepped back. Wiped her eyes and smiled at him, grim and blinding. 

"If I could choose anything, I would choose this." She breathed in like it was her last. "I love you. I love you like angels shouldn't, and I love you like Heaven can't." A silver pearl of a tear carving down her nose. Gabriel wanted to keep it, hang it on a string, wear it into eternity. "But I don't get to choose this. There is no other option. Not for me" She breathed out.  
"I need to go. I don't know what happens next." She left. She left and he didn't want to think, so he slammed the button and didn't dare pray.   
The elevator rose to The Silver City. Gabriel wanted the opposite.

***

It was the first night any angel had experienced in Heaven. In The Silver City, trouble was coursing, an army was rising. A single point of light shone however - way up in the empty skyrises. Golden and hopeful, a lighthouse to guide someone home. It was not unnoticed.

*** 

The malaise of a night of waiting was hung upon Gabriel's shoulders like permafrost. He rattled himself to a standing position as morning broke upon The Silver City. The black lightening to a dull grey, his raft of golden light beaming out unchecked. She had never shown up, and out in the city, Gabriel could feel the stirrings of the heavenly army. Someone banged on the door. He turned. Again. Forceful, insistent. It opened without him moving. Michael stalked into his home, a wrathful twist of the lips, a blood-in-the-water stare. 

"Turn that off." Gabriel didn't move.

"Turn that light off, right now." She prowled right up to him, a wedge of force. He hesitated again. Maybe Fabian hadn't yet noticed, maybe if he left it on, she would still show…

"Do it." Gabriel clicked his fingers. The light went out.

"You are an archangel, Gabriel. You're supposed to be God's perfect messenger, you cannot contradict her." Gabriel turned away; Michael groaned in frustration. His eye snagged on the sword strapped to her hip. "Explain yourself." 

"Nothing I did was against Her." The Silver City seemed to lurk in the grey. 

"You disobeyed a direct order." 

"I know this was right. I can feel it." That silvered hope in his shadowed corners, right? Michael stared at him with flesh stripping gaze. "I'm Archangel fucking Gabriel. I can't do wrong." She smiled so wide; she could swallow him whole.

"Prove it. Prove that God is behind all of this. Prove that you haven't been corrupted by that golden waste of talent." Gabriel could swallow the fear that lined his throat, it was that palpable. Michael was immoveable. He put his hands together. Stared her dead in the eye. Cobbled something of his faith together.

"Out loud." Michael hissed.

"Dear Lord," he champed out the words, flat and empty "if I am to be found innocent in the sight of them that believe me guilty, if it is to be that I have done no wrong before you, O Mighty, may you deliver me. Send your followers a sign of my faith."

The words hung heavy between them. A taut minute strung out, but nothing happened. Michael cocked an eyebrow. He shut his eyes. Bowed his head.

"Deliver me, Lord. Do not leave me wanting." He breathed life into his words, stilled his heart. Michael was leaning forward, tense with anticipation. 

Silence. 

"I offered faith to those in need, I did so in your image."

Michael snorted. He cracked to his knees, shame burning out his eyes.

"Please God. I just need you to give me a second." He was an Archangel and he was pleading. He reached inside him with desperate action, drawing out that hope and faith, spinning it like a net, casting it into the dark. "This was what was expected of me. I was showing grace, giving a hand to someone who was struggling. I was following you." The silver flame that had limned him was gone, like spiderwebs in a breeze and he was crashing to the ground. "I'm a believer. It's supposed to be easy." 

A beam of light from a God of all things. He wasn't asking for much "This shouldn't be hard." 

Just echoes of a single voice rebounding to shatter over him again, again. "Are you even listening?" He was so angry. He wanted to yell and rail. Shame was a bonfire and he was up in the smoke of it. "Pick up, damn it." He was lost in the doubt. "Pick up-listen to me-give me something here!" Nothing. He didn't know what he would do without heaven. 

Without God behind him, without his purpose. What was he? "Aren't you supposed to be everywhere? Aren't you supposed to be in everything?" If God wasn't pushing him, lifting him, giving him love and life... "I'm not questioning you but shit. How far do I have to bend for you to be proud of me." This was not fair. Lucifer got the light and the gold and the second chances. Gabriel? He got sore knees on a cold floor. He got the doubt and the hard empty spaces. He got the gaps around the face of God. Rage coiled in his throat, turned his tongue sharp. "Why're you taking so fucking long!" 

One final shout shivered in the air and he knew he had gone too far. Something cold scraped his throat gently. 

"Stand up," Michael said coolly. The sword pressed in deeper as he released a long fishline breath. He stood. Hands clenched. "You cannot speak to our Lord like that." He wanted to hang his head, to hide the rash red in his eyes. To hide how it felt when his prayers were splintered over him.

"I-" The sword pressed in harder. Gabriel nearly swallowed his tongue.

"Shut it. You've said enough." Gabriel waited.

"You're a mess." She said, pushing him back against the glass. "You're a wreck." The sword glowed with holy fire, the heat flaring along his skin. "You've never seemed so far from divine." She should be smiling, everything Gabriel knew about her told him she should be enjoying this moment. But her eyes were old and bent. The grip on the sword slackened a bit. "I hoped She'd at least answer you." The 'you' weighted like an accusation. His eyes jerked to hers, the world gained a bit of definition. 

"She isn't answering you either..." He said, cautiously. The flames of her sword licked up at him angrily.

"Don't speak!" But then she smiled, like she was Atlas, baring her teeth against the weight of a world. "You have a choice now. The armies of Heaven are mobilising, and you are to lead them. If you refuse…" She dropped the cold glare, let him see something fragile in her softened eyes. "…Then I'll make certain that you're one of the first to fall." 

Pressed against the glass with The Silver City dark behind him, Gabriel had to make a decision. Divine flame warming his throat, two stories and a prayer from God, an apartment empty of Fabian. Cutting – his hand tightened on the blade. Michael let it go. He grabbed it by the hilt, feeding the fire till it cast a roiling light onto the glass. No matter how much it hurt, he would always choose this. He looked at Michael. One last chance at an answered prayer. 

"Do you want Lucifer, or can I take him down?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three songs today, Drax – Dear God, Au/Ra - Panic Room and Tyler Glenn – The Gates, because the scenes were varied in tone and difficult. The dialogue was worse. We nearly through with this guys, though I'm thinking of contining with a different aspect of their relationship that's looking a lot happier. I dunno, give me a yell as usual.
> 
> Ciao now
> 
> Insufficient Fushes


	6. Coming Home

The gleaming ranks of God had marched. A collective tread of boots echoing through the vast halls, swords newly forged hung from belted hips, and undented silver helms pointed duly forwards. The whole of heaven had rung with a thousand thousand angels stamping their righteous might into marble corridors.   
But now in God's grand foyer, so white and endless, silence like that before a final meal thickened the air.   
Gabriel stood with Michael at his side, a little ahead of the wall of warriors. Facing them – a smaller contingent waited. Only a couple thousand in number, but they held fast and seemed fearless. A distance of about ten metres separated them and Gabriel itched with a desire, whether to draw a sword or flee he didn't know. Whatever he chose, he had the eyes of the host waiting to judge or follow with shouts of ferocious joy. He clasped his hands behind his back and tried to ignore the weight of of all those gazes upon him. 

"Any minute now," Michael muttered, shifting from one foot to another. Ahead Lucifer was turned to the side, laughing. He was so certain - unable to imagine any outcome in which he lost. Gabriel cast his gaze down the line, hopping from one stubborn chin to a darkened head, to a head of unruly hair. Again, the familiar faces jarred him, the realisation he would have to rain down the wrath of the divine upon them dragged over him like gravel, but Fabian was not there. Softly feathered hope rustled in his stomach. He dared not feed it. 

A peal of blue swung through the grey above, the Metatron shimmering into view. The infinitely calm face now a slice of angles and iron-hard anger. "Lucifer Morningstar, do you repent your sins? Do you place your face and pride at the feet of Humanity, admit your arrogance and accept whatever punishment our Lord has prepared for you?" Gabriel could scarcely believe it. The Almighty herself, through the voice of the Metatron - giving a self proclaimed enemy a second chance. The irony locked in his jaw. He fingered the hilt of his sword. 

Lucifer cast a brilliant glare straight to the Metatron, eternally defiant. "I will not." Behind him, his followers shifted, some looking to the ground, some wringing hands together. The Metatron's brows crashed together; a giant face grew warped in hate. 

"There is no room here for the haughty. A spirit such as yours shall fall." Another peal of blue light, the face of the Metatron shook, and with a roar of power, the air itself began to split.  
"Thou art cast out of thy grave like an abominable branch, as the raiment of those that are slain, thrust through with a sword, that go down to the stones of the pit; as a carcass trodden under feet. All that is holy shall be withdrawn, and you will burn in Heaven's waters." The Metatron boomed. A voice vast and stonebreaking. A voice to split a sea. "Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their father;" his skyfall gaze turned to the host now, and an echo of steel pulled from scabbards rebounded infinitely "that they do not rise, nor possess the land, nor fill the face of the world with their cities." Slowly Gabriel understood, God had turned her own fire, her own water, against them. She wanted them burned. His stomach revolted, he held it all down. Behind Lucifer's band of followers, the earth was opening up. A great black waiting to pull everything in. Still the Metatron roared. "For I will rise against them. So saith the Lord of Hosts." Wild eyes, swords raised to God. The Host and the Horde charged and met.

Gabriel lost the point in the wild charge. The quickening of life in his veins. With a sword in his hands and his breath flooded with bloody intent, he felt that the world existed for him alone. So, he ran, and when he clashed with the opposition, when he pulled back his arm, when he thrust and they screamed and when he glowed holy and hot, it was not Liriael who had made him coffee on busy days that wasted himself against Gabriel or Sansa with kind eyes who he beat back and ruined, it was simply opposition. The other at the wrong end of a sharpened point. Nothing connected them, and nothing could slow him. History erased in the hurtle of feet and roiling war. He was an archangel. He was shining. 

Solid purpose forged in him certainty. A certainty that had been lacking. Breath tore from his lungs, eyes rolling, and luck or providence had him blocking a ram to the gut, ducking a flung elbow, slipping steel into the gap between rib and swordpoint. His enemy had more to fear than steel now, the divine fire that frolicked on his blade now would burn and ravage and gorge, newly dangerous and eager. The sheer numbers of the host would eventually overwhelm Lucifer, Gabriel could taste victory on his tongue as his fellows fought and hurt and screamed. They were pushing forward. The Revolters cracking and stumbling before them. Gabriel's sword flickered with orange flame and golden blood. His arms were heavy, head empty of feeling. A sword sliced into his leg. A dagger nicked his shoulder. He choked on the pain but pushed ahead mercilessly. Lucifer glowed golden ahead of him, a flurry of lethal steelblaze, the crush around Gabriel was thinning. Angels spreading out, thinning the meelee of Lucifer's followers. 

Gabriel headed for the godson. A huge angel sliced a blade   
towards him and he raised his own, twisting. The grate of steel on steel shook him through. Whip-quick he stepped, raised, cut for the knee and hit home, jolting as he caught upon bone. Silently the angel collapsed to the marble. The white floor glittered gold where he fell.   
Gabriel pressed on before the angel rose again. Eyes focused on Lucifer; mouth set in grim concentration. Just behind Lucifer, the split in the earth swallowed all light. He saw Michael spitting and curling behind Lucifer like a cobra, a blade set to cut into his neck. A second later and she was on the ground howling as a sword skewered her wrist. Gabriel sprinted, bent on reaching Michael before Lucifer destroyed her. His sword blazing - a vibrant inferno. He lunged; blade destined for a shoulder. Lucifer turned, smiling with an easy parry. Then he retaliated with a step in, swift cut to the thigh. Barely deflected, Gabriel's leg buckled as the steel edge tore the previous cut wider. Lucifer was so quick, hand out, shoulders twisting, sword soon to catch up on the follow-through. Gabriel tried to scramble away but his hand met nothing but air, he crashed to the marble, vision blurring at impact. The split in the earth ached to devour him.   
"It's a pity you chose the Lord." Lucifer said. "I could have had so much fun with you." Gabriel waited for the sword to split him. Lucifer smiling, foot placed, muscles flexing - he yelled in pain. Gabriel opened an eye, saw Michael smiling grimly behind him, and yanked a dagger out of his side. Gabriel pushed off the floor, counting breaths he'd thought he'd lost. His arms ached, his leg a mess of golden blood. Lucifer staggered back, and a small figure knocked into Michael. Lucifer's sword dropped to the ground, his back to the abyss. He looked incredulous.

"Fuck!" Michael cried, cradling her arm to her chest. She picked her dagger off the ground. "I'm getting him. You deal with that." She stalked slowly toward Lucifer

Gabriel wasn't listening. Fabian panted on the marble, a great cut torn across her cheek, her upper lip. She looked a mess. "You're not supposed to be here." He whispered. She looked at his blade. It rippled orange. Gold dripped off the point. He didn't want to know what she saw in him. "You didn't come last night." 

"I didn't" her voice was hoarse, she wavered like a candle flame. Michael had a knife to Lucifer's chest. Fabian looked at Gabriel, sighed, then her face hardened. She turned, a small dagger in hand, frosted eyes fixed on Michael. She began to run. Michael was speaking to Lucifer, low and fierce. No. Gabriel snatched Fabian's arm, pulled her in, gripped her wrist, forced the dagger down. She gasped in pain. 

"Stop, let me go, I have to help." She screamed, fighting his grip, voice cracking like ice. 

"It's too late." He murmured, pressing his lips to her hair. Lucifer began to laugh, a far away sound, as he stepped right up to the edge of the rip in the ground, Michael's sword at his throat.

"This isn't going to be the end," Lucifer said, a triumphant raising of the head. Michael growled. Fabian dug her nails into Gabriel's arm. Uselessly desperate. Lucifer fixed Fabian with a knowing stare. A fist landed on Gabriel's leg and he crumpled to the floor, a burning torch of pain. Michael thrust the sword, a mighty blow, but Lucifer had stepped back into the black, giant wings rising and he beat against air. Fabian yanked herself away from Gabriel, wavering over the abyss unsure. Her hand raised before her.

"I'll be waiting for you all!" Lucifer screamed the words, radiance striking every corner, every eye. A howl tore from countless throats and the host of Heaven surged all around, pressing, beating. Lucifer shrieked in feral joy, laughed, beat his wings one final time, then plunged down. A falling star of God. He was gone. The followers of Lucifer began to jump into the dark, some tumbled, some fell and some never made it over the edge. All around Heaven, Lucifer's people were retreating. Heaven gave no second chances. Fabian stopped moving. All the fire in her blown out. 

"I could have done something." She snarled, turning back to Gabriel. He eyed her, making no move to rise, exhaustion pinning him to the floor.

"You could have killed her?" He asked. She hesitated, the wasteland rage in her face melting a little. 

"No." 

"Then what?"

"Something. Anything." 

"He was always going to jump. There was nothing you could do." He gazed at the grey above them all. Around them screams of the falling swirled, mixing with the vicious pride of heaven. 

"No," Fabian said coldly. "We were supposed to win. And then we could have done whatever we wanted. Been whoever we wanted." Gabriel smiled bitterly, pushing himself with effort up onto his arms. 

"You were never going to win." It really was simple. It was good versus evil, and Fabian had made a mistake. She walked to him, bent down, helped him to his unsteady feet. He leant on her, breathing deeply, quietly. "What're you going to do now?" 

She watched him, exhaling as he did, and ran a hand over the cuts on his arm, his face. "I'm scared." She let him go, stepped closer to the edge, peering into the void. An angel plummeted, screaming, one wing beating furiously, the other bent and useless. Fabian shuddered. "I should join them." Her hands trembled at her sides.

"Don't." Gabriel tried to grab for her, but his leg had him stumbling. "You can stay. It's not too late, you still have a choice." She shook her head and picked up his sword from where it lay abandoned. 

"Lift up your sword." He shook his head, confused.

"I'm not going to-"

"Trust me and do it." He grasped it tightly, white-knuckled and raised it. The blade wobbled between them. She walked right up to it. Pressed the point against her chest. "Feed the fire for me." He did so, watching, he was beginning to understand. If she was truly holy, the blade would only cut. She would not burn. The blade heated a magma red, bursting to flickerlight flame. There was nothing, and Gabriel felt like an answered prayer, light and careless and- 

"Ah-" Fabian gasped, pulling back. Where her tattered robe had burned away, golden blood bloomed from blackened skin. "She doesn't accept me as Hers anymore." She pressed a hand to her chest. "I'm on my own." He tossed the sword away, the fire sputtered out as it crashed to the marble.

"Fabian-" 

"Gabriel? What are you doing?" A quiet voice behind him. He swung around. Michael had her dagger out, cool and measured.

"It's okay, she's on our side, it's okay." He raised his hands desperately trying to ease her. Michael shook her head. 

"No, no. I'm not falling for this." Her eyes drifted to the burn mark. "Why haven't you dealt with her yet?" Fabian stepped forward, wide-eyed and jerky with tension. Michael move past him. "I'll deal with you later." She said and strode toward the little shaking angel.

"No." Gabriel tried to block her path, but his leg had him tripping again and she shoved him aside easily. Fabian scrabbled for the sword, heaved it up, and set her feet. It was clear it was too heavy. 

"Stay away." She said. "You don't get to decide who falls." 

"No," Michael eyed the burn, "but God does, and She finds you unworthy." Fabian swung the sword, Michael diverted it easily, moving in closer. The sound of steel on steel clashing once more rung through Gabriel. Michael jabbed, and Fabian shifted back desperate, the blade just slicing through cloth. Gabriel stumbled towards the pair, as Michael prowled, and Fabian fought back with bitter concentration. Gabriel's knee buckled, he grit his teeth, pushed on. Michael pushed Fabian back, she wavered on the brink, foot slipping. Michael saw an opening, poised the dagger. Shoulder came around, chin up. Leg forward. Hand rotating. Blade slicing. Right for her throat. Fabian closed her eyes. Gabriel screamed for her, raw and bleeding. The blade cut into her shoulder, she stepped off the brink, a howl snatched from her throat. Gabriel lunged, his wings snapping out to cover the world. Michael was forced aside, scattered to the marble, Fabian tumbling backwards, and the world was ending. Right at the pulsepoint of falling. He hit marble, breath exploding out of him. He prayed to all that he had ever loved as his hand reached ever out and his body shook and his mind went white, and then – contact. His hands clasped her one like a second chance and everything in him pulled and strained and thanked God in every way he knew how. 

"I've got you." He gritted out, slowly. Digging his every anchorpoint into unforgiving marble. She hung below, gasping. 

"I'm so scared." She sobbed. "I don't want to lose you; I don't want to go." She was scrabbling for any purchase she could find but the walls were smooth. "I don't want this." She panted, and her voice ran thin. He pressed his face to uncaring stone. His wings, white and worldbreaking, were cast out behind him. He heaved. Her other hand managed to cling to some crack and the weight eased somewhat.

"I know." He spat to marble. "I've got you." He tried to pull harder, but his leg just couldn't support him. He slipped. Pain. Everywhere. "Sorry. I just..." Fabian trailed off. Gabriel panted quietly. 

"No." Her knuckles were white like death was stalking her. "Listen." Again, her voice like a frayed climbing rope. "I'm scared and I love you and this is going to hurt you really bad." Her voice cut out for a second. "But it'll be so much worse for me. Cause this is all my fault." 

"What are you talking about." Gabriel was a frozen pond and a skater was heading right for all that was weakened in him. "Don't speak like that. This is not an ending. I'm saving you." His breath came in bursts, and he opened his eyes. He saw Michael standing, watching them. "I've been praying for this. Don't talk like there isn't a future here." He tried again, to haul her up and bring her home but there was nothing the hold on to and he wasn't infinite anymore.

"You're going to have to let me go." Quiet like gazing at a sunset, quiet like an empty bed. Quiet like a heartbeat. 

"No. I don't want to." He groaned and wedged himself against the air, his wings and everything pushing against the inevitable. She was slipping, fingernail by fingernail. "I want you with me." 

"I'm so sorry." He couldn't see her face. He couldn't kiss her like she was the only thing that mattered. He couldn't press her to the marble, beg her to stay. He was holding on by fingertips and iron strength. Even iron rusts, though. It bends and wastes away. Time waits for no love, no person. And time was moving on from them both. He curved a wing out over the rift, took a split second to wrench a feather from it, other arm buckling, before tucking it into her hair. 

"If it survives the fall, then maybe it'll help." He closed his eyes again, he needed to shut out the world. "I hate this." He was melting, tears sliding down his face, softening him.

"I know."

"I love you, and I shouldn't." He felt the words etch under his skin. He wouldn't forget them. "Maybe this is punishment. Maybe it isn't. You rip me up and I love you. I love you so much, so..." He couldn't fit the words out. His whole body was seizing up against this. "…I let you go." He pressed his face to the ground, hating everything that made him do this and let go. 

Fabian slipped from his grasp. He didn't see her fall, but he didn't need to. He knew she was gone.

The END

Fabian crashed and was consumed. 

She emerged into a new world, feeling fantastic. Fire had stripped everything away; she was a mess of scorched skin and firebit wings. There was a raging inside her, dark and yearning. When you hit The Great Pit at light speed, there isn't much left to bring you down. Coal-black eyes burned; sulphur coiled around her and she turned and waded out of the froth. 

Satan met her at the edge of the boiling sulphur. 

"It's about time." He was newly forged with rage and it was magnificent.

"You promised me a crown." She said, a strange urge in the back of her throat.

"You promised me you would follow without hesitating." 

"Something got in the way." She cricked her neck, casually. Gabriel. What a fool she had been.

"You'll have to make it up to me, Lord Beelzebub," Satan warned. Beelzebub smiled ravenously. 

"Let's go make some hell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fantastic tension of these two songs were vital for the war scenes: Hans Zimmer – The Oil and Rupert Gregson Williams -Duck Shoot. 
> 
> So it's finally finished. Not a very happy ending but... I reckon I'm not done with these two. Thanks for lending me your eyes for six chapters, let me know your thoughts.
> 
> Sincerely 
> 
> Insufficient Fishes


End file.
